My due date has come and gone - just by a few days, but the anticipation of Baby Girl's arrival is ever increasing.
I posted an update on Facebook that she hadn't arrived yet and everyone told me to "Hang in there." "She'll come at the perfect time." I know. And I'm not anxious. Well, okay... I just lied. I wasn't anxious yesterday when I posted that. I thought, "She can come when she wants and I'm fine with that." But this morning I was ready and rearing to get things moving! So I guess the words of advice did come in handy. (And I've tried all the self-inducing methods - clary sage, basil, blue cohosh, red raspberry tea, castor oil, acupressure, sex... still no baby.)
So here I am, still childless. Oh, well. She''ll come at the perfect time! As the days draw nearer I find myself pondering more and more frequently on what it will be like to have my very own child! My whole life I have anticipated and dreamed of this moment - becoming a mother. I played with dolls until I was 14 always and after I put away the dolls I started making plans for what I would be like as a mom.
I just can't wrap my head around it all - nor my heart. I know the love I have for my parents is going to quadruple the moment I meet my baby, because then I'll have an idea of how much they love me.
I love my baby girl, but I just don't know how much yet. I have heard women say that the moment the baby comes out you are enveloped in an immediate love for the baby. I am so excited to experience that, because honestly, I haven't yet and I can't really imagine what it will be like.
I wonder what she'll look like, how I will relate to her, if I will know what to do when she is crying, or if I'll even know how to hold her right. Wow, there are just so many things about being a parent that I don't even know yet!!! But how would I know, I've haven't been one yet!
So, a few kid-less days (hours?) remain for me and Tanner and I have been thinking about all the things that are about to change:
Sleeping in until noon on Sundays - or until 9 (or 8 or 7...) on any day most likely
An empty backseat
Speeding up at the yellow light
Not being able to drive in the carpool lane (definitely excited about this change!)
"Want to go to a movie?" "Okay!"
Walking by myself - a stroller will be in tow from now on
Ignoring the baby aisles at the grocery store
Doing what I want when I want
Only doing my laundry
Unoccupied rooms upstairs
Swearing (just kidding, she'll have to get used to that. just kidding!)
And that's just a short list of the many changes that are to come, I'm sure.
All good changes though. I had the thought today - this is why I am here on earth - to be a mother and to be part of an eternal family - wow! I'm so grateful God has entrusted me with this sweet baby girl and I am excited for the journey to begin. A little nervous, yes, but that's fine, she's maybe a little nervous too, but the 3 of us will figure it out and have a great time along the way!
See you soon Baby Girl!!!